the bad itch
so, i have just returned from my trip to vietnam. it was SUPER hot, but i absolutely loved it. despite the constant stomach problems i was plagued with, the food was fabulous. i had this problem where i became constipated, took laxatives, then got diarrhea for a bit, and had stomach cramps for basically the whole trip. when i arrived home, not even 10 minutes later, i was stuck on the potty and seemed to expel everything good and bad i ingested for the last 11 days. so odd....and painful. but, enough about my bowel movements.
i shall write more about my trip later. there is something that has been bothering me all year.....kinda like a bad itch in that place that you can't reach no matter how hard you try to contort your body to alleviate it. or, you know one of those itches that you scratch but it seems to be waaay under your skin where you can't reach it so you scratch and scratch to no avail? yeah...kinda like that. this year more than any other year in my life i have been bothered about my age.
since i have turned 25 (which has been spent mostly in japan) i seem to be the only female in my group of friends to get such startling questions or observations like, "is your husband home?" "are you married?" "oh....i thought you were 28-29" "is that your younger sister?" (my OLDER sister is 3 and a half years older than me, btw) such bull shit like this. now....why do i care? well, now that i have involuntarily joined the group of the mid to late-twenties, i hold on to my youthful appearance with such ferocity that mama bear would be scared. suddenly, the lines and spots on my face seem to be more visible, metabolism slowed down, hips and thighs expanded, physical movement of any kind lead to some loss of breath, and this bitterness seems to be like my appetite - bottomless.
while in vietnam, grace, jenni, and i visited this one t-shirt store in nha trang. the salespeople always try to get chummy with the customer so as to create this artificial bond......sounds like the everyday world or some funky sex. however, in less developed countries, this is the key to get to the buyer's (aka tourist's) mind. ah...the psychology of getting people to fork over some cash. it always starts like this.
saleswoman: where you from?
me: america.
saleswoman: (gasps in disbelief.....quite reminiscent of japanese folks) america?! i cannot believe it! but, you look japanese!
me: i AM japanese. i'm japanese american.
saleswoman: whaaaaaaaat? oh, you born in japan?
me: no.
saleswoman: oooooooh. your husband is american?
background music stops to a RECORD SCRATCHING.
at this point, jenni, and grace grimaced and walked away, knowing full well that some heat was beginning to eminate where i stood. i tried to take it as gracefully as i could. here is what i reasoned for this madness:
1) women get married earlier in asian counries. (maybe in vietnam, but japan is starting to catch up with the states in that respect and i have received this comment before in japan) therefore, the saleswoman assumed that since i look like i'm in my 20s, i must be married.
2) i look like i'm in my 30s.
3) i look mature.....which must mean i look like i'm in my 30s.
4) my face is longer and not round which is usually associated with youth....basically hag-like.
5) fuck it....i'm looking old.
i suppose i must accept the fact that i WILL get carded for things back home from now on. i'm 26 now. i'm old, and i look my age. nothing anyone can say will make me feel better about this.
now, excuse me while i scratch this itch and curse you all.
i shall write more about my trip later. there is something that has been bothering me all year.....kinda like a bad itch in that place that you can't reach no matter how hard you try to contort your body to alleviate it. or, you know one of those itches that you scratch but it seems to be waaay under your skin where you can't reach it so you scratch and scratch to no avail? yeah...kinda like that. this year more than any other year in my life i have been bothered about my age.
since i have turned 25 (which has been spent mostly in japan) i seem to be the only female in my group of friends to get such startling questions or observations like, "is your husband home?" "are you married?" "oh....i thought you were 28-29" "is that your younger sister?" (my OLDER sister is 3 and a half years older than me, btw) such bull shit like this. now....why do i care? well, now that i have involuntarily joined the group of the mid to late-twenties, i hold on to my youthful appearance with such ferocity that mama bear would be scared. suddenly, the lines and spots on my face seem to be more visible, metabolism slowed down, hips and thighs expanded, physical movement of any kind lead to some loss of breath, and this bitterness seems to be like my appetite - bottomless.
while in vietnam, grace, jenni, and i visited this one t-shirt store in nha trang. the salespeople always try to get chummy with the customer so as to create this artificial bond......sounds like the everyday world or some funky sex. however, in less developed countries, this is the key to get to the buyer's (aka tourist's) mind. ah...the psychology of getting people to fork over some cash. it always starts like this.
saleswoman: where you from?
me: america.
saleswoman: (gasps in disbelief.....quite reminiscent of japanese folks) america?! i cannot believe it! but, you look japanese!
me: i AM japanese. i'm japanese american.
saleswoman: whaaaaaaaat? oh, you born in japan?
me: no.
saleswoman: oooooooh. your husband is american?
background music stops to a RECORD SCRATCHING.
at this point, jenni, and grace grimaced and walked away, knowing full well that some heat was beginning to eminate where i stood. i tried to take it as gracefully as i could. here is what i reasoned for this madness:
1) women get married earlier in asian counries. (maybe in vietnam, but japan is starting to catch up with the states in that respect and i have received this comment before in japan) therefore, the saleswoman assumed that since i look like i'm in my 20s, i must be married.
2) i look like i'm in my 30s.
3) i look mature.....which must mean i look like i'm in my 30s.
4) my face is longer and not round which is usually associated with youth....basically hag-like.
5) fuck it....i'm looking old.
i suppose i must accept the fact that i WILL get carded for things back home from now on. i'm 26 now. i'm old, and i look my age. nothing anyone can say will make me feel better about this.
now, excuse me while i scratch this itch and curse you all.
posted by shan at 4:03 AM
2 Comments:
i don't think it's necessarily bad to look more mature. that actually is a good trait to have in the business world. i always feel that i'm not taken seriously because i look my age or younger. my face is super round, and i have teeth of a 13 year old. i'm considering getting braces - the invisible kind. gosh, if i started sporting metal gear in my mouth at meetings, NO ONE would take me seriously.
hope your bowel movements are doing better today! =)
my stomach feels a bit funky still...but, thanks for asking, eva! unfortunately, i won't be going into the business world, so this notion that i look older still bothers me. thanks for your input though.
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