i give up
i have decided to give up bringing carrots to work. it just brings about too much attention to myself. plus, they're too goddamn crunchy....can't hide while eating 'em, you know? i hate giving up, but what can you do....fuck it...instead, i'll just go ape shit on the kendo club and take my stress out there.
that, i did! i swear, the guy that i teach with is such a fucking pussy....he just ASKS for an ass beating. and, i give it to him. good. i make him my bitch. therefore, it was my full intention yesterday to tire the students out so much to the point where they can't move or lift their arms up anymore. they're fucking japanese...they're supposed to love suffering. they revel in that shit. i came to japan two summers in a row in high school to participate in the summer kendo camps for this one jr high and high school. i wanted to die. to this day, nothing has compared to what i've had to endure during those two summers...just one week each. these kids were going to learn suffering...and who better to teach it to 'em then me......the merciless. (insert evil laughing here) plus, i wanted to kick the teacher guy's ass.
so, we did this exercise called "butsukari keiko." which literally means "bumping or running into each other practice." in kendo, there is full body contact. when you practice it, you must know the proper technique of hitting and the way your body and arms must be when you come into the body contact, as well as being able to receive the contact. because i kicked my asses line so hard, my wrists are all bruised up from the constant banging of my wrists against my "do" or stomache protector. i didn't make any of the girls cry.....yet. but, a couple had to stop to catch their breaths or they felt queezy. in kendo, there is one rule, "DO NOT STOP." so, i was yelling at them, "GET UP!!! DON'T STOP OR I'LL MAKE YOU DO MORE!!!"
ah...power is nice. i'm doing it for them, not me. okay.....a little for my own training. but, this just makes them stronger outside and in.
off topic, Tae-sensei in my office is always fucking cheerful. not so irritatingly cheerful where i feel like getting a knife and stabbing her in the head with it. but, she's pleasant. she NEVER frowns or is NEVER in a bad mood. i must know her secret......
that is ONE thing that i will give to the female teachers of japan. well, most of them. they are VERY professional in that they keep their emotions in check. at least, with coworkers. they're always in a good mood, or are always pleasant. they're good actresses. maybe if i botox my face i can be just like them.
i wonder what i will do for club practice today......hehehe
that, i did! i swear, the guy that i teach with is such a fucking pussy....he just ASKS for an ass beating. and, i give it to him. good. i make him my bitch. therefore, it was my full intention yesterday to tire the students out so much to the point where they can't move or lift their arms up anymore. they're fucking japanese...they're supposed to love suffering. they revel in that shit. i came to japan two summers in a row in high school to participate in the summer kendo camps for this one jr high and high school. i wanted to die. to this day, nothing has compared to what i've had to endure during those two summers...just one week each. these kids were going to learn suffering...and who better to teach it to 'em then me......the merciless. (insert evil laughing here) plus, i wanted to kick the teacher guy's ass.
so, we did this exercise called "butsukari keiko." which literally means "bumping or running into each other practice." in kendo, there is full body contact. when you practice it, you must know the proper technique of hitting and the way your body and arms must be when you come into the body contact, as well as being able to receive the contact. because i kicked my asses line so hard, my wrists are all bruised up from the constant banging of my wrists against my "do" or stomache protector. i didn't make any of the girls cry.....yet. but, a couple had to stop to catch their breaths or they felt queezy. in kendo, there is one rule, "DO NOT STOP." so, i was yelling at them, "GET UP!!! DON'T STOP OR I'LL MAKE YOU DO MORE!!!"
ah...power is nice. i'm doing it for them, not me. okay.....a little for my own training. but, this just makes them stronger outside and in.
off topic, Tae-sensei in my office is always fucking cheerful. not so irritatingly cheerful where i feel like getting a knife and stabbing her in the head with it. but, she's pleasant. she NEVER frowns or is NEVER in a bad mood. i must know her secret......
that is ONE thing that i will give to the female teachers of japan. well, most of them. they are VERY professional in that they keep their emotions in check. at least, with coworkers. they're always in a good mood, or are always pleasant. they're good actresses. maybe if i botox my face i can be just like them.
i wonder what i will do for club practice today......hehehe
posted by shan at 5:50 PM
4 Comments:
kowai sensei...
Make 'em suffer. If I learned anything in high school sports is that the worse you felt during practice, the better you felt afterward. And hey, if you get the added bonus of stress relief, by all means, work them so hard that their arms nearly fall off!
this is what you need to do to teach your kids a lesson:
the next time the kids torment you about eating raw carrots, grab the bag of carrots and start repeatedly slamming it onto the table. you need to be fast and ruthless. use all your kendo strength - this will mash the carrots in the bag. after the 7th or 8th time the bag hits the table, it will explode and shards of baby carrots will fly all over the room, covering the students and the walls. it will also leave orange stains on the wall.
trust me, it works, and it will shut your kids up forever. i've actually witnessed this myself - ask grace.
Totally.
And then say that in America, you lick the carrot pieces off of the wall so as not to waste precious baby carrots. Because unlike normal carrots, these have to be grown in special miniature hydroponic underground chambers and it makes them VERY expensive.
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