homecoming...

my baby boy is ready to come home. i just got the call from the vet to pick up his ashes. i remember when i had to go pick up rusty's ashes. i started crying in my car, holding the box that contained my beloved dog. it's hard to believe that all that's left of the animal i loved is ashes in a box.

i have kendo to keep my focus off of my sadness...and everything else in my life. my life has been quite surreal, yet real since i've returned from japan. i feel like i'm in this neverending state of transition...yet not. i'm accomplishing so much with the training, but not so much in terms of my career and future. sounds more like i'm in purgatory. (what the fuck is purgatory again?) or the twilight zone...

but, i'm still really sad about takeru.

really sad.