Three years ago on this day, I came home from Japan. What has changed since then? Hmmm...
hindsight is 20/20, right? well, my love life sure was crazy upon returning. i don't regret a minute of it though. i got my heart stomped on twice, but ended up back with the person that has always remained the constant in my life. so, looking back on things, i guess it really shouldn't come as a surprise on how things turned out. Or....should it?
i was supposed to end up in the UK. i'm still determined to end up in Europe. although, my dream of marrying a european will most likely not come to fruition since i'm with an asian dude. sigh....i wanted to change my baby's nappies, not diapers. darn. i'll have to just fantasize about it.
what i need to do is focus on the present. the future is a dream....and the past is over. done. no use lingering there in a weird time warp kinda thing. yes, there are plenty of woulda, coulda, shoulda, and "it was so nice....why can't it be this way now.....what if that never had happened....." but, who the hell is saying that in my head anyway? who the hell is that voice? can i just tell her to SHUT THE FUCK UP?!
ever discover the peace when you silence the voice in your head? my goal is to learn to medidate. i want to elevate my soul. there's more to everything than the dollar bill, calorie counting, and trying to create clever blog entries.
so, three years later, where am i at really? sigh....
hindsight is 20/20, right? well, my love life sure was crazy upon returning. i don't regret a minute of it though. i got my heart stomped on twice, but ended up back with the person that has always remained the constant in my life. so, looking back on things, i guess it really shouldn't come as a surprise on how things turned out. Or....should it?
i was supposed to end up in the UK. i'm still determined to end up in Europe. although, my dream of marrying a european will most likely not come to fruition since i'm with an asian dude. sigh....i wanted to change my baby's nappies, not diapers. darn. i'll have to just fantasize about it.
what i need to do is focus on the present. the future is a dream....and the past is over. done. no use lingering there in a weird time warp kinda thing. yes, there are plenty of woulda, coulda, shoulda, and "it was so nice....why can't it be this way now.....what if that never had happened....." but, who the hell is saying that in my head anyway? who the hell is that voice? can i just tell her to SHUT THE FUCK UP?!
ever discover the peace when you silence the voice in your head? my goal is to learn to medidate. i want to elevate my soul. there's more to everything than the dollar bill, calorie counting, and trying to create clever blog entries.
so, three years later, where am i at really? sigh....
posted by shan at 11:44 PM
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