my cubicle life
i hate the cubicle life. i hate the fact that the person next to my cubicle can hear EVERYTHING i do. she can hear me type, shuffle papers around, eat, move, breathe....i think she can even hear my thoughts.
i've been here for 3 weeks now. i finally met the woman next to me. her name is leslie, and she works in the benefits department. from what i've gathered, i sit next to the benefits department. she's my pseudo friend. i know a bit about her now. and, i know that a guy named mike works near her as well. from their conversations that i've eavesdropped on, this is what i've gathered.
leslie is the most pleasant woman ever. she's so chipper, sometimes i think i can hear birds chirping and smell flowers growing next door. if i had someone in charge of my funds and my benefits package, i'd want her hands down. before i physically saw her in person, i gathered that she was married. probably in her 40s cuz she has a kid that's in junior high school. she has a son. i havn't figured out yet if she has more than one child. from what her coworkers have teased her about, she's a bit of a square. she says, "bummer" a lot. she seems like a "golly gee" type of chick. she has a very nice and pleasant voice. maybe i'll tell her that before i leave this place. but, then again, maybe she'll think i'm super creepy because i've made up all these stories about her in my head.
you don't understand. i'm stuck in my cubicle ALL DAY with no one to talk to. sometimes, i don't even use my voice for 5 hours. what else is there to do but to listen in on others and make up all these stories in my head?
i think i'm pretty good at making judgements on people JUST by the sound of their voice. let us continue on to my pseudo friend, mike.
mike, from what i've deduced, is definitely single. he talks about partying and spending over 300 bucks bowling with his buddies one weekend. LOO-HOO-SER-ER. just kidding. i think once you hit over 30, there ain't shit else to do. so, i gather he's over 30. i'm going to guess by how deep his voice is and the jaded undertone of his dialogue that he is between 32-35. i'm also going to guess that he's between 5'8"-5'10" and slightly overweight. you can kinda tell these things by the cadence of his speech and how deep his voice is. kinda sounds like a lazy fuck, you know? i'm going to guess that he's a brunette. he also laughs like an old man. i don't like that. not very attractive, if you ask me.
alright, i may be making assumptions based on stereotypes, but, i'm convinced that most of my guesses are going to be right. before i leave, i'm going to make sure that i run into mike to prove my hypotheses.
those are my pseudo friends at work. yay.
jenni, thanks for the comments. we can kick it whenever you like. grace, i'm sorry i was a bad friend and didn't come up to sf for your bday celebration. let me take you out to a nice dinner...close to your actual bday date. so, that doesn't entirely count cuz we can still celebrate your bday THIS coming weekend!!
you know what though? i ain't trying to be the old person in the clubs....parisa and i were talking about how when we were 25, we said, "if i'm 30 and at the clubs still, shoot me."
shoot me.
i've been here for 3 weeks now. i finally met the woman next to me. her name is leslie, and she works in the benefits department. from what i've gathered, i sit next to the benefits department. she's my pseudo friend. i know a bit about her now. and, i know that a guy named mike works near her as well. from their conversations that i've eavesdropped on, this is what i've gathered.
leslie is the most pleasant woman ever. she's so chipper, sometimes i think i can hear birds chirping and smell flowers growing next door. if i had someone in charge of my funds and my benefits package, i'd want her hands down. before i physically saw her in person, i gathered that she was married. probably in her 40s cuz she has a kid that's in junior high school. she has a son. i havn't figured out yet if she has more than one child. from what her coworkers have teased her about, she's a bit of a square. she says, "bummer" a lot. she seems like a "golly gee" type of chick. she has a very nice and pleasant voice. maybe i'll tell her that before i leave this place. but, then again, maybe she'll think i'm super creepy because i've made up all these stories about her in my head.
you don't understand. i'm stuck in my cubicle ALL DAY with no one to talk to. sometimes, i don't even use my voice for 5 hours. what else is there to do but to listen in on others and make up all these stories in my head?
i think i'm pretty good at making judgements on people JUST by the sound of their voice. let us continue on to my pseudo friend, mike.
mike, from what i've deduced, is definitely single. he talks about partying and spending over 300 bucks bowling with his buddies one weekend. LOO-HOO-SER-ER. just kidding. i think once you hit over 30, there ain't shit else to do. so, i gather he's over 30. i'm going to guess by how deep his voice is and the jaded undertone of his dialogue that he is between 32-35. i'm also going to guess that he's between 5'8"-5'10" and slightly overweight. you can kinda tell these things by the cadence of his speech and how deep his voice is. kinda sounds like a lazy fuck, you know? i'm going to guess that he's a brunette. he also laughs like an old man. i don't like that. not very attractive, if you ask me.
alright, i may be making assumptions based on stereotypes, but, i'm convinced that most of my guesses are going to be right. before i leave, i'm going to make sure that i run into mike to prove my hypotheses.
those are my pseudo friends at work. yay.
jenni, thanks for the comments. we can kick it whenever you like. grace, i'm sorry i was a bad friend and didn't come up to sf for your bday celebration. let me take you out to a nice dinner...close to your actual bday date. so, that doesn't entirely count cuz we can still celebrate your bday THIS coming weekend!!
you know what though? i ain't trying to be the old person in the clubs....parisa and i were talking about how when we were 25, we said, "if i'm 30 and at the clubs still, shoot me."
shoot me.
posted by shan at 9:21 AM
2 Comments:
It's OK Shan, I was kinda trashed, and didn't remember too much of what happened Sat night. I'll see you tonight anyway! I can't wait!
boooo! I want to come play with you guys. Damn stupid Canada and it's frosty winter and 10 foot barrier of ice between us and the rest of the world. DAMN OLD MAN WINTER!!
P.S make sure to vote for Obama for me. I need to find a surrogate voter since I'm just an ol' frosty Canuck. Gonna drink my beer and be polite and get one of you to vote for me.
Cheers
J
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