TAKERU THE TERROR
takeru is my dear cat. he's all white with two little black spots on his forehead where'd you imagine eyebrows would be, and a little pink nose. he's about 6 months old. one night in june, i was going to ride my bike over to my friend beth's apartment. we had both been talking a long time about wanting pets in japan. i have TONS of stray cats in front of my apartment, and had been plotting to steal a kitten the next time i saw one. alas....it never happened. UNTIL, that night in june.
so, i went to jusco (big supermarket like a better Target) on my way to get a pump for the tires on my bike. the bike section is all the way to the left of the store, so i went to a different entrance; one that i never go to. ooooohhhhh, and the plot thickens. outside the entrance, two students from my school and two little kids were playing with kittens. one white, one black. i immediately squealed with delight and picked up the white one. the student asked if i'd take them home. i said for her to hold on. so, i went inside, got my pump, and called beth. i said that this was written in the stars, it's fate. we've both wanted pets and i've found TWO kittens. can't get anymore perfect than that. so, she said yes. i took the kittens and put them in my basket. my BIKE basket, that is. and rode with two screaming kittens in my basket for 15 minutes through the streets and rice fields of japan. that was quite an adventure. and, takeru became mine.
here's a list of things i hate about my cat:
1. he has this ODD thing where he likes to suck on people skin....like suckling on it. i've had cats that like to do it on blankets and stuffed animals and soft things, but not human skin. he is SO WEIRD. so, when i would hold him when he was a kitten, he'd try to go for my neck or my face. he's given up and now tries for arms and hands.
2. he has ripped THREE holes in my shoji screen (rice paper screen). i caught him this morning....i heard a ripping sound and i woke up. no time to grab the squirt bottle so i yelled, "takeru!" and slapped his ass. this kitty deserves a severe beating.
3. i once had a glorious little plant that added a lovely touch of green to my living room. now, it is simply a stump with 3 leaves. before the summer, i would catch him eating it and yell, "takeru!" he'd try to hide behind the plant. however, he is a lot bigger than the plant. please try to imagine that in your head.
4. japan is notorious for cockroaches. well, tropical weather seems to breed bugs in mass and in size! the bugs here are 10x the size that nature intended. having had this knowledge beforehand **, I purchased roach baits and roach hotels to place around my apartment. takeru loves to bat these around aimlessly, ruining my strategic placement of these things. i'm old now. i can't remember where they're supposed to go. fucking cat.
**when i was 15, i came to japan over the summer. my grandfather and i were playing with fireworks outside, when we saw this HUGE ASS cockroach. fucker must've been over two inches long. super black too. my grandfather goes right over to it and lifts up his foot. during this whole process, i'm ready to cover my ears when i hear a huge CRUUUUUUUUNCH. there was this gross pink and black mass there as a result. traumatized forever after that.
5. he meows. meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. it's never ending, i tell you. when i'm on the phone, he'll meow. when i'm standing, he'll meow. when i'm on the computer, he'll meow. perhaps, while i am deep in my cozy slumber, we converse in his secret language. i often wake up with his face close to mine as he murmurs quietly, "meow?" it's all day, all night.
6. he likes to chase his tail. go figure. a part of his body that he loves to rediscover over and over and over.
7. for some reason, he likes the catfood in the bag rather than in his bowl. although his food bowl is piled aplenty with the crunchy fish and miscellaneous shaped cat bite sized morsels, he still likes to rip and bite holes in the bag and spill his food everywhere, eating it off the floor.
8. the litter. whenever this cat chooses to urinate or defecate, he kicks up the litter and it sprays EVERYWHERE. in lehmann's terms, everytime he pisses or take a shit, i have to sweep up the litter after him.
that would be about it.
things i like about him.
1. he likes to watch tv. he's one of those kinds of kitties.
2. he likes to cuddle. he's sweet.
3. he's happy to see me when i get home.
4. he's made my life better here in japan....despite his antics. can't wait to get him neutered though.
that's about it.
so, i went to jusco (big supermarket like a better Target) on my way to get a pump for the tires on my bike. the bike section is all the way to the left of the store, so i went to a different entrance; one that i never go to. ooooohhhhh, and the plot thickens. outside the entrance, two students from my school and two little kids were playing with kittens. one white, one black. i immediately squealed with delight and picked up the white one. the student asked if i'd take them home. i said for her to hold on. so, i went inside, got my pump, and called beth. i said that this was written in the stars, it's fate. we've both wanted pets and i've found TWO kittens. can't get anymore perfect than that. so, she said yes. i took the kittens and put them in my basket. my BIKE basket, that is. and rode with two screaming kittens in my basket for 15 minutes through the streets and rice fields of japan. that was quite an adventure. and, takeru became mine.
here's a list of things i hate about my cat:
1. he has this ODD thing where he likes to suck on people skin....like suckling on it. i've had cats that like to do it on blankets and stuffed animals and soft things, but not human skin. he is SO WEIRD. so, when i would hold him when he was a kitten, he'd try to go for my neck or my face. he's given up and now tries for arms and hands.
2. he has ripped THREE holes in my shoji screen (rice paper screen). i caught him this morning....i heard a ripping sound and i woke up. no time to grab the squirt bottle so i yelled, "takeru!" and slapped his ass. this kitty deserves a severe beating.
3. i once had a glorious little plant that added a lovely touch of green to my living room. now, it is simply a stump with 3 leaves. before the summer, i would catch him eating it and yell, "takeru!" he'd try to hide behind the plant. however, he is a lot bigger than the plant. please try to imagine that in your head.
4. japan is notorious for cockroaches. well, tropical weather seems to breed bugs in mass and in size! the bugs here are 10x the size that nature intended. having had this knowledge beforehand **, I purchased roach baits and roach hotels to place around my apartment. takeru loves to bat these around aimlessly, ruining my strategic placement of these things. i'm old now. i can't remember where they're supposed to go. fucking cat.
**when i was 15, i came to japan over the summer. my grandfather and i were playing with fireworks outside, when we saw this HUGE ASS cockroach. fucker must've been over two inches long. super black too. my grandfather goes right over to it and lifts up his foot. during this whole process, i'm ready to cover my ears when i hear a huge CRUUUUUUUUNCH. there was this gross pink and black mass there as a result. traumatized forever after that.
5. he meows. meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. it's never ending, i tell you. when i'm on the phone, he'll meow. when i'm standing, he'll meow. when i'm on the computer, he'll meow. perhaps, while i am deep in my cozy slumber, we converse in his secret language. i often wake up with his face close to mine as he murmurs quietly, "meow?" it's all day, all night.
6. he likes to chase his tail. go figure. a part of his body that he loves to rediscover over and over and over.
7. for some reason, he likes the catfood in the bag rather than in his bowl. although his food bowl is piled aplenty with the crunchy fish and miscellaneous shaped cat bite sized morsels, he still likes to rip and bite holes in the bag and spill his food everywhere, eating it off the floor.
8. the litter. whenever this cat chooses to urinate or defecate, he kicks up the litter and it sprays EVERYWHERE. in lehmann's terms, everytime he pisses or take a shit, i have to sweep up the litter after him.
that would be about it.
things i like about him.
1. he likes to watch tv. he's one of those kinds of kitties.
2. he likes to cuddle. he's sweet.
3. he's happy to see me when i get home.
4. he's made my life better here in japan....despite his antics. can't wait to get him neutered though.
that's about it.
posted by shan at 11:00 AM
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