clarification...
to my faithful readers....yes, all three of you....let me clarify.
i re-edited the previous entry because it sounded like shit. perhaps the added bits will make sense of my confliction. PLEASE READ IT.
i guess the question that came up in my head when i came across those old letters was: why do people give up something safe, comfortable, and loving for something that's risky, uncertain, and potentially quite painful? ahhhh.....gambling. i fucking hate gambling. the human experience is so fun, ain't it? love is grand.
the last glimpse you will get into the saga that we call my love life....the other thing that i realized when i read those letters was that i fucked someone over BIG TIME....quite hard. imagine someone being sodomized with a huge fat dildo. that would be an accurate analogy....or is it metaphor? perfect score on GREs....here i come! did i mention that i am a cal grad as well?
anyhow, i can never apologize to this person because there is so much more involved in this story. but, i do recognize that i was so lucky and priveleged to be the recepient of his love, and that i'm sorry that i took it for granted. in hindsight, it was all a necessary learning experience, but i could have gone about it a VERY different way. i wouldn't change what happened, but i'm appreciative of the fact that i was fancied.
plus, karma is a big fat dildo waiting to sodomize the next deserving ass.
i re-edited the previous entry because it sounded like shit. perhaps the added bits will make sense of my confliction. PLEASE READ IT.
i guess the question that came up in my head when i came across those old letters was: why do people give up something safe, comfortable, and loving for something that's risky, uncertain, and potentially quite painful? ahhhh.....gambling. i fucking hate gambling. the human experience is so fun, ain't it? love is grand.
the last glimpse you will get into the saga that we call my love life....the other thing that i realized when i read those letters was that i fucked someone over BIG TIME....quite hard. imagine someone being sodomized with a huge fat dildo. that would be an accurate analogy....or is it metaphor? perfect score on GREs....here i come! did i mention that i am a cal grad as well?
anyhow, i can never apologize to this person because there is so much more involved in this story. but, i do recognize that i was so lucky and priveleged to be the recepient of his love, and that i'm sorry that i took it for granted. in hindsight, it was all a necessary learning experience, but i could have gone about it a VERY different way. i wouldn't change what happened, but i'm appreciative of the fact that i was fancied.
plus, karma is a big fat dildo waiting to sodomize the next deserving ass.
posted by shan at 10:02 PM
1 Comments:
hey, remember that movie "Flatliners"? Dude, better apologize or when you and your buddies try to do some kooky experiments to momentarily experience the afterlife you will come back only to be haunted by a nasty, creepy version of your ex. Watch out!
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